[personal profile] shini_fanfic
Title: Dirk: Be a Sexy Wizard
Fandom: Homestuck
Pairings: Dirk/Roxy
Rating: K-13 for language.
Summary: Inspired by this drawing. Roxy makes Dirk put on a wizard hat and robe.



"Dirk, put this on!"

You have barely stepped though the threshold before a pink robe and a pointy blue hat with stars are shoved into your arms. You take a moment to think 'what the fuck' as you stare at them before directing your gaze to Roxy.

She's drunk. But of course, she's often drunk. Today, though, her skin has a rich red flush and she's swaying more than usual, a wide grin on her face.

"Why would I put these on?" You raise one eyebrow, just high enough to be seen over the shades.

"Because I say so, dummy. You'd look hot in them."

"I always look hot, wizard or otherwise," you smirk at her, but unlike most, she takes it in stride.

That, or she's just too drunk to pick up on your sexy ways.

You prefer that explanation.

"You would be so, soooooooooo much hotter if you'd just put on the robe and hat." She sashays her way over to you, somehow managing not to fall despite how clearly drunk off the wall she is. "C'mon Dirk. Pleasssse?" She pulled her best pouty face.

Even your amazing Strider pokerface can't stand up to that, and you grudgingly pull the robe on over your T-shirt. She beams at you, which makes it a little more bearable.

"The hat too!"

"Do I have to?"

"Why would you not want to?" She pouts. "It's a hat. You like hats! I even made sure this one would fit on your hair!"

You wish you could say your face is calm and cool like it always is, but that'd be a fat lie. Your poker face is gone. Dead. Shattered into a hundred pieces and stomped on with her high-heeled shoes, then burned in a fire. Instead you're giving her a disgruntled glower which she takes absolutely no notice of. She just giggles drunkenly, "Hold on, I gotta get a camera." And she bolts from the room.

You're two seconds from taking the hat off when you hear her call back over her shoulder, "Diiirk, don't take that off!"

You drop your hand and wait for her to come back with the camera.


 

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June 2012

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