[personal profile] shini_fanfic
Title: Sometimes the Prince Doesn't Get the Girl
Fandom: Homestuck.
Rating: K?
Pairings: Roxy/AR, Dirk/Roxy.
Summary: In the end, he had to choose what made her happy.

They say you don't know what you have until you lose it.

As you stand there, watching the girl you love hug someone who isn't quite you, you think that's pretty fucking accurate. You know you might have a chance. You know part of her still loves you, but you can't do it. Maybe you're a masochist, but you feel you don't deserve it.

You had your chance.

You had her heart, and you lost it.

She's happy now, and you can't take that away.

That's why you made the body, even though you knew what it would mean. Because you want her to be happy, to make up for how you fucked up. Because he made her happy while you were busy trying to woo someone else. He saw what you couldn't. He even told you, and you denied it. You said he must've been trying to mess with you, because that's what you would've done in his place.

Which was true.

But that didn't make what he said false.

You saw the signs, but you couldn't figure out what that sting in your chest was when you couldn't read the logs. You thought you loved someone else. Maybe you couldn't see it because you never imagined you'd lose her. Part of you knew how she felt about you and knew that there was nobody who could take her from you.

You were right.

Because you didn't lose her to someone else.

You lost her to yourself.

She laughs at something the Auto Responder has said. You see her eyes light up, a smile on her face that is entirely genuine. It's been years since you've seen her smile when sober.

That smile helps to ease the fierce burning in your chest, but it still hurts. You want to be the one who makes her smile like that. You want her to look at you that way.

TT: I give her what you can't, and that just drives you crazy. Just admit it.

He was right. It drives you crazy and always has. But you were too much of a screw up to realize why.

What a shitty Prince of Heart you are. Doesn't the prince get the girl? Instead you've lost her twice--

Your head hurts. You don't know why you thought that. Twice?

It's another time and place. You catch sight of her in the distance, hand in hand with a dark-haired man smoking a pipe. In that instant you know exactly what you've let yourself lose and you turn away without drawing attention to yourself. You can't bring yourself to be angry, even as you find your heart breaking.

You never get another chance to see her.

Your eyes are burning. You push your shades higher up your nose as you try to compose yourself. You can't cry here. You can't let her see how this hurts you.

You've hurt her enough times with your callous ways.

She's happy now.

And you'll make sure she stays that way.




June 2012


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